I stood behind my daughter as I combed through her hair, blow drying it after her bath. Her flowing beautiful hair. We were laughing at something simple and her golden little giggles were bubbling up around me. Suddenly I thought how blessed I am to have the privilege of this moment. I know so many people who love her, who are delighted by her. I have heard testimony to the light she brings into a room. Yet I am the one who gets to stand here, so close in a warm steamy bathroom and hear laughter meant for only me.
I remember when I was 18, there was a baby in our church whom I loved. His mother and I were friends and I worked in the nursery and had held this baby since he was born. He smiled at me and loved me back. He was always happy to see me and came willingly into my arms. I loved him as though he were mine.
I remember that one day, I realized that no matter how much I loved him, there would always be something I could not grasp, something I could not understand. I realized that my friend was the one who was blessed with his nighttime snuggles and she was first to see his eyes in the morning. Perhaps it was the first time I recognized the desire in me to be a mother.
Tonight, as I touched her silky hair and looked in the mirror at her shining laughing eyes, I wondered why. Why I was chosen to be so near this beautiful creature. Why it was my hand that had the honor of caressing her face.
Time will stretch and fold and soon enough she will be grown. She will never remember this night after a bath, brushing her teeth and laughing with me.
But the 18 year old in me will never forget that I have found that sweet fragrance, the heart stopping moment lost in her eyes, that glorious blessing that is the love of a child.
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