What Are You Afraid Of?

June 14, 2007

I am afraid of my children suffering. I don’t mean like getting a shot at the doctor (or brain surgery...) or crying because they can’t have a toy.

I saw a movie once about a war torn country and in one street scene there were bombs going off and people running everywhere and the camera closes in on a cart that has overturned and there sits a small child, covering his ears and screaming.

That kind of suffering.

I am afraid of not being able to meet their children and see what interesting little people they might be. The Christmas before my grandmother died, she held Eli in her lap and took hold of his foot and asked “Where will these feet go?” I hope I get to ask the same question.

I am afraid of pitch black dark rooms. I just can’t seem to walk in.

I am afraid of scorpions. I had a dream once... you don’t want to know.

I usually like to say that I’m not afraid of anything. But, like all my fellow humans, thoughts wake me up at night or creep in at difficult times. I am glad, though, that my Father in Heaven is in control of all these things or these fears might overtake me. Might paralyze me. When I give them away, He gladly takes them.

Do I think that these scary things (or worse) might actually happen one day? Maybe. Well, except that crazy scorpion dream because, if there were that many scorpions in one room, all the scientists would be there with me, I think.... But what comforts me is that I know that the Lord will give my children their own measure of peace during their suffering as He has during my own. What is true today will be true tomorrow.

Praise be.